GM Alfred Lives: walks up to the podium with a drink in hand, accompanied by his nephew Tim Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a wild ride, hasn't it? chuckles Tonight, I'm here to announce some blockbuster news that will shake the very foundation of our team. We've made a massive trade to bring two incredible talents to our roster—Nathan MacKinnon and William Karlsson, along with Mason Appleton. That's right, folks. This is a game-changer.
pauses to take a sip of his drink
To make this deal happen, we had to part with some significant assets. We said goodbye to Nico Hischier, Shane Pinto, Teuvo Teravainen, Cole Beaudoin, Lukas Dragicevic, Elias Salomonsson, Filip Mesar, Emil Andrae, our 2026 first-round pick, our 2025 first-round pick from St. Louis (top 10 protected), and Terik Parascak.
gestures to Tim, who is standing next to him
And my nephew Tim here is just as excited as I am about this deal. Right, Tim?
Tim: nods enthusiastically Absolutely, Uncle Alfred. This is huge for us!
GM Alfred Lives: Now, I know what you're all thinking—"Alfred, you've lost your mind!" But let me tell you something, when you get the chance to bring in a superstar like Nathan MacKinnon and a versatile forward like William Karlsson, you take it. We're building a dynasty here, and sometimes you have to make bold moves.
slightly sways and takes another sip
This trade isn't just about the talent we're bringing in; it's about sending a message to the league that we're serious about winning. We've got one of the best teams in the league now, and we're not stopping here. This is just the beginning.
raises his glass
To Nathan MacKinnon, William Karlsson, and Mason Appleton—welcome to the team! And to our fans, buckle up, because it's going to be one hell of a ride!
finishes his drink and raises his glass again
Cheers to the future!