Confessions

[runningback33]

34 minutes ago, Psylocke said:

 

LOL I like low sodium plain chips as well, like, Miss Vickie's Unsalted. But I also like some flavoured ones, too. 

Yes the miss Vickie’s unsalted in the light blue bag! Right now I have a Costco sized kettle chips, cape cod brand and they are really good…not salty..got them at the US Costco..

[runningback33]

33 minutes ago, Chickenspear said:

You are all responsible for my poor choice in food tonight.

Chips?

[112]

I feel like my younger sister is exploiting taxpayers/disability benefits and don't know if this makes me a hypocrite. There's just not, in my mind, much - if anything - wrong with her that prevents her from carrying out activities of daily life or working a job. She has 'moderate' anxiety from what I know. She seems fine to me. I don't know what her inner world is like, but she goes through everyday able to do everything a normal person her age is able to do - at least as I see it. I feel like she just saw other people on benefits, figured it was easy money and swindled the system into awarding her an allowance, meanwhile not reasonably qualifying for it. It pisses me off.

 

My mental health struggles are highly documented and severe. People who work with me all agree that I should be receiving disability benefits. I really have a hard time taking care of myself. But there's always a part of me that figures I should (be able to) do and accomplish more. And then there's her - someone who's had a far easier life than me without anywhere near the number and seriousness of struggles... on PWD for reasons I don't get despite being around her for the majority of my life.

 

I don't live a full life, but I feel like my sister has every opportunity to and simply chooses not to. She does go to university and I hope has plans to work once she's finished her degree (social work) because I really don't see how she's able to complete a degree program while meanwhile being unable to care for herself to the extent that she qualifies for disability assistance. Seeing what I do, it's hard for me not to think she's abusing taxpayer dollars to subsidize her education in this context.

 

I guess it's 'none of my business,' but really it is; I rely on disability money to survive without any other real options, and it doesn't help improve the quality of the assistance when there are those who are fraudulently receiving it. The optics are poor. My impression is that she's just proving the conservative stereotype of assistance where lazy people collect the public dollar for no legitimate reason.

[Bob Long]

10 minutes ago, 112 said:

I feel like my younger sister is exploiting taxpayers/disability benefits and don't know if this makes me a hypocrite. There's just not, in my mind, much - if anything - wrong with her that prevents her from carrying out activities of daily life or working a job. She has 'moderate' anxiety from what I know. She seems fine to me. I don't know what her inner world is like, but she goes through everyday able to do everything a normal person her age is able to do - at least as I see it. I feel like she just saw other people on benefits, figured it was easy money and swindled the system into awarding her an allowance, meanwhile not reasonably qualifying for it. It pisses me off.

 

My mental health struggles are highly documented and severe. People who work with me all agree that I should be receiving disability benefits. I really have a hard time taking care of myself. But there's always a part of me that figures I should (be able to) do and accomplish more. And then there's her - someone who's had a far easier life than me without anywhere near the number and seriousness of struggles... on PWD for reasons I don't get despite being around her for the majority of my life.

 

I don't live a full life, but I feel like my sister has every opportunity to and simply chooses not to. She does go to university and I hope has plans to work once she's finished her degree (social work) because I really don't see how she's able to complete a degree program while meanwhile being unable to care for herself to the extent that she qualifies for disability assistance. Seeing what I do, it's hard for me not to think she's abusing taxpayer dollars to subsidize her education in this context.

 

I guess it's 'none of my business,' but really it is; I rely on disability money to survive without any other real options, and it doesn't help improve the quality of the assistance when there are those who are fraudulently receiving it. The optics are poor. My impression is that she's just proving the conservative stereotype of assistance where lazy people collect the public dollar for no legitimate reason.

 

The way I look at it is no system is perfect. If someone like you who legitimately needs help gets it and the cost of that is a few others sneak through, well so be it.  I'd much rather have that then you not getting help.

 

 

She also has to live with her choices, and it's the system that decided anyway.

 

 

[Chickenspear]

53 minutes ago, runningback33 said:

Chips?

[The Arrogant Worms]

2 hours ago, 112 said:

I feel like my younger sister is exploiting taxpayers/disability benefits and don't know if this makes me a hypocrite. There's just not, in my mind, much - if anything - wrong with her that prevents her from carrying out activities of daily life or working a job. She has 'moderate' anxiety from what I know. She seems fine to me. I don't know what her inner world is like, but she goes through everyday able to do everything a normal person her age is able to do - at least as I see it. I feel like she just saw other people on benefits, figured it was easy money and swindled the system into awarding her an allowance, meanwhile not reasonably qualifying for it. It pisses me off.

 

My mental health struggles are highly documented and severe. People who work with me all agree that I should be receiving disability benefits. I really have a hard time taking care of myself. But there's always a part of me that figures I should (be able to) do and accomplish more. And then there's her - someone who's had a far easier life than me without anywhere near the number and seriousness of struggles... on PWD for reasons I don't get despite being around her for the majority of my life.

 

I don't live a full life, but I feel like my sister has every opportunity to and simply chooses not to. She does go to university and I hope has plans to work once she's finished her degree (social work) because I really don't see how she's able to complete a degree program while meanwhile being unable to care for herself to the extent that she qualifies for disability assistance. Seeing what I do, it's hard for me not to think she's abusing taxpayer dollars to subsidize her education in this context.

 

I guess it's 'none of my business,' but really it is; I rely on disability money to survive without any other real options, and it doesn't help improve the quality of the assistance when there are those who are fraudulently receiving it. The optics are poor. My impression is that she's just proving the conservative stereotype of assistance where lazy people collect the public dollar for no legitimate reason.

How can she afford University?

[112]

1 hour ago, The Arrogant Worms said:

How can she afford University?

Student loans. She's in a lot of debt, but she won't have to repay it if she opts to stay on disability rather than work after her degree as benefits can't be garnished - which is another thing that irritates me about the situation.

[runningback33]

Well it’s back to healthier snacks for me, got a new air popper so made a nice bowl of popcorn for later

[Gurn]

26 minutes ago, runningback33 said:

Well it’s back to healthier snacks for me, got a new air popper so made a nice bowl of popcorn for later

My Dad gave me an air fryer last week, and it took 5 days before I used anything else to cook with.

[Jess]

Dealing with severed relationships is tough. Some people don't deal with the changes I want well, though it's unsurprising.

[Gurn]

45 minutes ago, Jess said:

Dealing with severed relationships is tough. Some people don't deal with the changes I want well, though it's unsurprising.

Almost like they feel it's all  about...... them.

"How could you do this to them?"

----------------------------

Please keep trying to live your best life, the resistance you are getting is going to be from people you are better off, without.

 

Edited August 1 by Gurn

[Chickenspear]

30 minutes ago, Jess said:

Dealing with severed relationships is tough. Some people don't deal with the changes I want well, though it's unsurprising.

Always difficult to cut ties with people, especially when they're close family and friends. Their reactions could just be that they need some time to process it. My mom was really supportive of me when I told her, but even she admitted she didn't really understand how I was feeling and needed some time to adjust to my identity.

 

Just keep your head high, and given some time, some of them will come around.

 

I myself still need to tell my dad, but he's been in and out of the hospital due to his substance abuse, and this last time (4 days ago) they gave him a cognitive test before releasing him, and he completely bombed it, and they ended up suspending his drivers license for 3 months. My sister, who's an ex-nurse, said it's a sign of developing dementia, so 'hold off' on telling him, because he's way too angry to deal with it at the present time. 

[Jess]

1 hour ago, Gurn said:

Almost like they feel it's all  about...... them.

"How could you do this to them?"

----------------------------

Please keep trying to live your best life, the resistance you are getting is going to be from people you are better off, without.

 

 

1 hour ago, Chickenspear said:

Always difficult to cut ties with people, especially when they're close family and friends. Their reactions could just be that they need some time to process it. My mom was really supportive of me when I told her, but even she admitted she didn't really understand how I was feeling and needed some time to adjust to my identity.

 

Just keep your head high, and given some time, some of them will come around.

 

I myself still need to tell my dad, but he's been in and out of the hospital due to his substance abuse, and this last time (4 days ago) they gave him a cognitive test before releasing him, and he completely bombed it, and they ended up suspending his drivers license for 3 months. My sister, who's an ex-nurse, said it's a sign of developing dementia, so 'hold off' on telling him, because he's way too angry to deal with it at the present time. 

 

Yeah, my current situation is with my former best friend. Nothing yet with immediate family that I really care about, but some day I'll face that. With my friend, it definitely feels like he and his wife don't grasp my end of the situation, but with the worldview they have, that's not surprising. I admittedly didn't ever tell him outright because of his long history of being so anti-LGBTQ that it felt very unsafe. I'm sure he feels very betrayed, but he somewhat unknowingly dug his own grave in that sense over the years. He just never imagined that his best friend would actually be queer, so he didn't think to be careful with what he said or thought.

[Gurn]

15 minutes ago, Jess said:

 

 

Yeah, my current situation is with my former best friend. Nothing yet with immediate family that I really care about, but some day I'll face that. With my friend, it definitely feels like he and his wife don't grasp my end of the situation, but with the worldview they have, that's not surprising. I admittedly didn't ever tell him outright because of his long history of being so anti-LGBTQ that it felt very unsafe. I'm sure he feels very betrayed, but he somewhat unknowingly dug his own grave in that sense over the years. He just never imagined that his best friend would actually be queer, so he didn't think to be careful with what he said or thought.

That guy is not thinking about you- other than "What the heck is wrong with ME, that I was hanging out with a ............"

Narcissists, to all their varying degrees, are so  annoying, and draining.

 

 

 

[Jess]

4 minutes ago, Gurn said:

That guy is not thinking about you- other than "What the heck is wrong with ME, that I was hanging out with a ............"

Narcissists, to all their varying degrees, are so  annoying, and draining.

 

 

 

 

There is plausibly some of that, but I think he genuinely thinks I'm throwing my life away. It's that combined with the feeling of losing his best friend that probably has him most distraught. I can empathize with what he's feeling, but like you implied, he's not thinking about it from my perspective and isn't even trying to put himself in my shoes.

[Chickenspear]

34 minutes ago, Jess said:

 

 

Yeah, my current situation is with my former best friend. Nothing yet with immediate family that I really care about, but some day I'll face that. With my friend, it definitely feels like he and his wife don't grasp my end of the situation, but with the worldview they have, that's not surprising. I admittedly didn't ever tell him outright because of his long history of being so anti-LGBTQ that it felt very unsafe. I'm sure he feels very betrayed, but he somewhat unknowingly dug his own grave in that sense over the years. He just never imagined that his best friend would actually be queer, so he didn't think to be careful with what he said or thought.

Yeah, that's a tough one... I'd just lay it out for him, 'this is the way it is, come talk to me when you're ready' type deal. If face to face isn't exactly feasible, maybe a PM on facebook? I always find I can type out/write down how I feel more accurately, rather than coming up with the words on the spot. This way you can get your whole message across without being interrupted.

[Gurn]

14 minutes ago, Jess said:

isn't even trying to put himself in my shoes.

Might be for the best- perhaps he'd take you favourite new pair of high heels?

 

[Jess]

40 minutes ago, Chickenspear said:

Yeah, that's a tough one... I'd just lay it out for him, 'this is the way it is, come talk to me when you're ready' type deal. If face to face isn't exactly feasible, maybe a PM on facebook? I always find I can type out/write down how I feel more accurately, rather than coming up with the words on the spot. This way you can get your whole message across without being interrupted.

 

Yeah, I think in the next few months that's probably what I'll do. Right now he's in a bit of a crazy space and I'm still only like 30% out. I think he's almost certain that I'm trans though, so in some sense the cat's out of that bag. There's a chance I come out to my immediate family in the next month or two and that might be the time where I just make it clear for him.

[Chickenspear]

Just now, Jess said:

 

Yeah, I think in the next few months that's probably what I'll do. Right now he's in a bit of a crazy space and I'm still only like 30% out. I think he's almost certain that I'm trans though, so in some sense the cat's out of that bag. There's a chance I come out to my immediate family in the next month or two and that might the time where I just make it clear for him.

That's essentially what I'm going to do. My mom, sister, and brother in law already know, so I just have to tell my dad first, then drop the news on my facebook wall to everyone else.

[Jess]

Just now, Chickenspear said:

That's essentially what I'm going to do. My mom, sister, and brother in law already know, so I just have to tell my dad first, then drop the news on my facebook wall to everyone else.

 

I wish you all the best with it! I just created a new FB profile but if my family is somewhat accepting over it, I'll just add them and any accepting friends on there and stop using my old one. I only really use Messenger these days anyway. The bigger change would be changes to Discord, Steam, and eventually after I come out at work, LinkedIn.

[RWMc1]

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/2012/10/29/the-real-sin-of-sodom/

 

an excerpt

 

"The story of Sodom and Gomorrah is surely the best known of the biblical narratives used to condemn homosexuality. For over a millennium, preachers have employed it – with dramatic effect – to prohibit and punish sex between men. The word “sodomy,” invented by an English churchman to describe male intercourse, helped to transform male sexual relations into an unparalleled evil. For generations, men who were accused of sodomy were humiliated, persecuted, tortured, and put to gruesome death in imitation of the violent divine destruction of Sodom. Today, the people who carry placards reading, “God hates fags” know this must be so by reading their Bible.

 

The details of the story in the Book of Genesis, chapter 19, are well known. God knows that the cry from Sodom is great and sends angels to investigate the gravity of the situation. Lot, the patriarch of Sodom’s only decent family, ushers the angelic guests into his house. After dinner, the townsfolk of Sodom clamor at the door, demanding that Lot send out the guests “that they might know them.”

 

Despite the common perception that the sin of Sodom was rampant sexual vice, Jewish literature has largely rejected this reading. The Prophet Ezekiel locates the sin of Sodom in its inhospitality, its cruelty and perversion of justice, and not in homosexuality. He describes Sodom as arrogant and insensitive to human need. The residents of Sodom had plenty of bread and untroubled tranquility, yet they refused to support the poor and the needy.

 

Among early rabbinic commentators, the common reading of the sin of Sodom was its cruelty, arrogance and disdain for the poor. The sages of the Babylonian Talmud also associated Sodom with the sins of pride, envy, cruelty to orphans, theft, murder, and perversion of justice. While the event which sealed the fate of the Sodomites was their demand for Lot to bring out his guests so that the mob might “know” them, this still was not seen so much as an act of sexual excess, but as hatred of the stranger and exploitation of the weak. Midrashic writers lavishly portray Sodom and the surrounding cities as arrogant and self-satisfied, destroyed for the sins of greed and indifference to the poor."

[RupertKBD]

On 7/28/2024 at 9:52 AM, bishopshodan said:

Actually I kinda do have a confession and a bit more moaning about my job.

 

Work in the prison can be very rewarding. I'm good at the job and receive plenty of praise.

 

I have ran into a problem. I am posted on a unit that is huge. Literally.

It is not uncommon for me to walk an avg 30k steps and 100 flights of stairs...per shift.

 

My left hip has been hurting for a couple months and it seems to be getting worse. I was powering through and putting it out of my mind. I have put in for a different post and have been anticipating that i would get it. Its been 4 months, I have responded to 2 expressions of interest and had many informal conversations about the new assignment. I was telling myself 'just hang on, the new post is coming, far less walking'

 

Without going too far into it, I am now pretty sure I will not get the new post. Maybe due to politics, procrastination on deciding, staffing levels, or simply losing out to another candidate due to seniority.

 

So, now I am a bit heart broken. My will to push my hip has gone away. Why suffer for this job if I am to just be a number?  ( some of my co-workers think the brass want to leave me in my current post for now because I am good at it, I am often left by myself with about 50 inmates....that's no how things are supposed to work)

That said, i cant bring myself to take med leave. I could work easily in many postions and other jobs....if maybe they had just a few steps less than 30k ( actaully its the stairs that hurt the most).

 

I stopped running about a month ago to try to help. I see the dr on Wed. I will fix my hip, i am determined to do so, i have many things i need it for stilll!

 

However, I'm not sure I will be at this job too much longer.

 

Late to the party here Bishop, (I don't do WN that often) but hip issues are very often related to back issues. It might be worth a visit to a Chiropractor. (especially if your medical covers it)

[Bob Long]

3 minutes ago, RupertKBD said:

 

Late to the party here Bishop, (I don't do WN that often) but hip issues are very often related to back issues. It might be worth a visit to a Chiropractor. (especially if your medical covers it)

 

since this is confessions I feel the needs to chime in here. I worked for a neurologist for two summers when I was in uni. You couldn't pay me to see a Chiro, way too many of his patients were due to these guys and their "spine manipulation". Whatever you do don't let them near your neck, imo. 

 

[RupertKBD]

15 minutes ago, Bob Long said:

since this is confessions I feel the needs to chime in here. I worked for a neurologist for two summers when I was in uni. You couldn't pay me to see a Chiro, way too many of his patients were due to these guys and their "spine manipulation". Whatever you do don't let them near your neck, imo.

 

That may well be. I have to admit that I've never been myself.

 

That being said, I still think that hip pain is often a result of a back problem. IIRC, that was the case with Marian Gaborik, who had a couple of hip surgeries, before they realized his back was causing the hip issue.

 

At least, that's how I understood it. Maybe @MeanSeanBean can chime in. (Don't want to give my boy Bishop bad advice)

Edited August 1 by RupertKBD

[Bob Long]

9 minutes ago, RupertKBD said:

 

That may well be. I have to admit that I've never been myself.

 

That being said, I still think that hip pain is often a result of a back problem. IIRC, that was the case with Marian Gaborik, who had a couple of hip surgeries, before they realized his back was causing the hip issue.

 

At least, that's how I understood it. Maybe @MeanSeanBean can chime in. (Don't want to give my boy Bishop bad advice)

 

just offering what I saw personally. Major permanent nerve damage caused by quacks. Not saying they all are, I just know I'd never submit myself to something like that.