Confessions

[Gurn]

[LionofJudah]

I hate the digital age. You lose contact with people and it's like they fell off the face of the earth with no way to get back in contact with old long lost friends. 

 

Did it even happen? Was it even real? Who knows? It's all lost in cyber space.

[bishopshodan]

Got a job offer for the law enforcement postion I've been going after, yesterday.

 

Not a done deal yet, few more hurdles to get through. I'm pretty proud of myself that they want me though. Reason is, I'm 49. I have been kicking butt at every stage. Giving them no excuse to turn away this old ass rookie. 

[Bob Long]

6 minutes ago, bishopshodan said:

Got a job offer for the law enforcement postion I've been going after, yesterday.

 

Not a done deal yet, few more hurdles to get through. I'm pretty proud of myself that they want me though. Reason is, I'm 49. I have been kicking butt at every stage. Giving them no excuse to turn away this old ass rookie. 

 

congratulations, they are lucky to have someone with your experience. 

[runningback33]

I like watching Fast Food Reviews on YouTube and junk food reviews as well

[gwarrior]

I'm bagging tomorrow. I'm tired, beat up, and exhausted. I can't afford to take a week off. So I'm gonna use my last sick day tomorrow.

[LionofJudah]

When your anxiety is so high for such a long period and all you wanna do is cry 

[brilac]

I confess ~

 

The two pairs of jeans I bought are fitting me a little tight! Maybe it's the word slim in the name that make them a little tight. So here I am, wearing them, and doing lunges, squats, and stretching.

 

Yeah, stretch those babies! I may lunge my way to the kitchen! 

[AngelicHearts]

I haven't taken any sick days at work this year. Maybe I should have taken advantage of them, but it's hard to take days off when there's so much to do at work.  

[The Arrogant Worms]

1 hour ago, AngelicHearts said:

I haven't taken any sick days at work this year. Maybe I should have taken advantage of them, but it's hard to take days off when there's so much to do at work.  

 

My son has taken 1 sick day in 5 years.  That means he has 74 banked as they get 15 a year.

[Gurn]

29 minutes ago, The Arrogant Worms said:

 

My son has taken 1 sick day in 5 years.  That means he has 74 banked as they get 15 a year.

Oh, his pre-retirement leave is already rocking!

[gwarrior]

5 hours ago, AngelicHearts said:

I haven't taken any sick days at work this year. Maybe I should have taken advantage of them, but it's hard to take days off when there's so much to do at work.  

I hear ya. I don't like taking a day off unless I HAVE to because things get thrown out of whack. 

[Bob Long]

I charge annoying clients twice as much. 

[Guest]

I start my new job in social services tomorrow with a great organization. I am spiraling a bit, because in the excitement of my job offer, I think I was a little TOO flexible and asked when it was best for them when I started. They said tomorrow, but my wife just left, again, for another 3 week course...So, i'm solo-Dad for another 3 weeks and his daycare is closed Friday! I have already stated that I need to go home 30 minutes prior to shift end because of our daycare hours (just until my wife gets home in December) and now I have to say I won't be in Friday. Has anybody else had these issues? I know life happens and i'm assuming other people who work there have been in this same predicament but it makes me physically ill when I come across as unreliable or require special accommodations. I just want to be a grey guy!

[6of1_halfdozenofother]

13 minutes ago, diesel_3 said:

Has anybody else had these issues?

 

I've thankfully been relatively free of these sort of issues, but I can perhaps provide a perspective from the other side of the table (as a manager).

 

From my point of view, life happens, and if we've committed to hiring someone, we want to make it work.  So as a manager, I would appreciate it if my new colleague were to approach me and lay out the situation with the mindset of finding ways to make it work (ie. not as a demand towards their preferred solution, but as a joint effort to find a solution that works for both parties).

 

Good luck, I think it'll all work out for you in the end.   

[Sharpshooter]

17 minutes ago, diesel_3 said:

I start my new job in social services tomorrow with a great organization. I am spiraling a bit, because in the excitement of my job offer, I think I was a little TOO flexible and asked when it was best for them when I started. They said tomorrow, but my wife just left, again, for another 3 week course...So, i'm solo-Dad for another 3 weeks and his daycare is closed Friday! I have already stated that I need to go home 30 minutes prior to shift end because of our daycare hours (just until my wife gets home in December) and now I have to say I won't be in Friday. Has anybody else had these issues? I know life happens and i'm assuming other people who work there have been in this same predicament but it makes me physically ill when I come across as unreliable or require special accommodations. I just want to be a grey guy!

You’re amongst the greyest of all time! 

[Guest]

First day went even better than expected!

They have all kinds of cool perks within the job. My bosses boss remembered I liked hockey from the interview and tossed around the idea of me helping out friday afternoons with the residential services home (Boys age 12-17) because they play a game of shinny every friday afternoon!!! My friday afternoon shift could potentially be spent slew footing and throwing elbows like the good ol' days. Now that's what I call restorative justice! "This is how we played in the late 90s early 2000s, boysssss"

 

[Guest]

23 hours ago, Sharpshooter said:

You’re amongst the greyest of all time! 

Can't tell if you are making fun of me or not, but I took great pride in being the grey guy when I was in the Army. Never good enough for recognition, never shitty enough to get yelled at. It really is an art form.

[6of1_halfdozenofother]

2 minutes ago, diesel_3 said:

First day went even better than expected!

They have all kinds of cool perks within the job. My bosses boss remembered I liked hockey from the interview and tossed around the idea of me helping out friday afternoons with the residential services home (Boys age 12-17) because they play a game of shinny every friday afternoon!!! My friday afternoon shift could potentially be spent slew footing and throwing elbows like the good ol' days. Now that's what I call restorative justice! "This is how we played in the late 90s early 2000s, boysssss"

 

 

So were they good with you taking this Friday off?  Or has the subject not been discussed yet?  

[Guest]

Just now, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

So were they good with you taking this Friday off?  Or has the subject not been discussed yet?  

Oh ya! Was going to mention that but got caught reliving the glory days.

My actual boss stopped in to see me (Im training in the Belleville office, but my 'team' works out of Trenton) and we had a solid BS. I then casually mentioned about the Friday sitch and he basically didn't even respond, it was more of a shrug, then kept talking. I learned later on they have 12...yes TWELVE! health and wellness days on top of our annual. Since i'm brand new, I still apparently get 4 of those until the new fiscal year (April 1) so, i'll just use my 1st and still get paid for the day!

[Sharpshooter]

25 minutes ago, diesel_3 said:

Can't tell if you are making fun of me or not, but I took great pride in being the grey guy when I was in the Army. Never good enough for recognition, never shitty enough to get yelled at. It really is an art form.

Meant with all friendship. 
 

So ya, totally making fun!

[gwarrior]

Had a panic attack at work and was sent home. Just too much on my plate right now. And with xmas coming up, and it's our busiest time of year, I just couldn't do it, and I can't work safely with knives and saws if that happens.

[Guest]

The Rainbow Bridge Car explosion unlocked a memory I am absolutely shocked I could somehow 'forget'

It's amazing the things trauma can block out!

 

I'm a few beer deep, so here we go!

 

Anyways, assuming it was a botched terrorist attack...It reminded me of our flash drive that we had overseas where we kept footage (legally had to) of all of our strikes/engagements (I worked in a cell that used anything and everything that flew for reconnaissance and 'hunting' as we called it -- TACP, google it if interested). We also had a folder of BOTCHED IED placements/suicide bombers.....basically the blooper reel of 'terrorists' blowing themselves and sometimes their co-workers into mucky chunks all over the Red Desert. 

 

Every time one of the good guys, be that Yanks, Brits, or us were killed in our AOR (We had an area named ROZ Smirk 'Restricted Operations Zone') you felt personally responsible for it. Even if you didn't have any overwatch or air assets, it still hung with you. This became even more apparent during VIP tours with fallen soldiers loved ones....It was honestly the hardest part of my tour and still wakes me up at night. Seeing the look in the eyes of the family members, or widows of soldiers past who lost their lives in that fucking sand box. Especially when they learned who WE are and what WE did....I always felt they would 'blame' us....but they didn't. I had a Dad, I don't know who his son or daughter was, but he put his hand on my shoulder and said 'Good Job Son' and it took everything in my power to not break down infront of my crew right there, I couldn't, you just couldn't. For survival you couldn't show an ounce of 'perceived' weakness.

 

I don't feel at all sick for the feeling I felt inside when one of those fucks blew themselves up. Sometimes, you could tell the exact moment they KNEW they fucked up. They would try to scurry away from the side of the road, hole, culvert...wherever they were digging/planting/running det wire, etc. just SECONDS before it detonated sending them to Kingdom Come. Even during some of our engagements. About 2 seconds before we would give the 'splash' signal over the air, they would hear it....they would all hear it coming and try and scurry away, but most of the time it was too late.....sometimes they made it out of the initial blast, we called them 'squirters' then we would furiously be reading 10 point grid references to the Kaiwa's or Apaches to come in and finish em off with a strafing run of 30 mike muthafuckin mike cannons.

 

I haven't thought about any of this for over 10 years....it's wild what a simple news story can jog loose...which is why I don't normally drink to 'get drunk' like I am right now, this shit floods back, man....and it's fucking wild. No drug can give you this feeling, I can assure you that.

 

By the time I come to my senses, I will probably regret ever typing any of this. Judge me all you want, but unless you are/were in my boots, you would never understand. I might delete this by tomorrow morning.

 

I never kept a journal of my time overseas and really wish I had....I know there are about 15-20 super 'unique' experiences I have stored away in there and wish I had all the information and details....All I have is the feeling I had when it was all happening, everything else is mostly a blur. When you don't get a day off until your HLTA days of the week and time don't really matter or even make sense for that matter. You are thousands of miles from home and what makes sense in the world.

 

If any of you made it to the end of this. Thank you.

Edited November 22, 2023 by Guest

[6of1_halfdozenofother]

12 minutes ago, diesel_3 said:

The Rainbow Bridge Car explosion unlocked a memory I am absolutely shocked I could somehow 'forget'

It's amazing the things trauma can block out!

 

I'm a few beer deep, so here we go!

 

Anyways, assuming it was a botched terrorist attack...It reminded me of our flash drive that we had overseas where we kept footage (legally had to) of all of our strikes/engagements (I worked in a cell that used anything and everything that flew for reconnaissance and 'hunting' as we called it -- TACP, google it if interested). We also had a folder of BOTCHED IED placements/suicide bombers.....basically the blooper reel of 'terrorists' blowing themselves and sometimes their co-workers into mucky chunks all over the Red Desert. 

 

Every time one of the good guys, be that Yanks, Brits, or us were killed in our AOR (We had an area named ROZ Smirk 'Restricted Operations Zone') you felt personally responsible for it. Even if you didn't have any overwatch or air assets, it still hung with you. This became even more apparent during VIP tours with fallen soldiers loved ones....It was honestly the hardest part of my tour and still wakes me up at night. Seeing the look in the eyes of the family members, or widows of soldiers past who lost their lives in that fucking sand box. Especially when they learned who WE are and what WE did....I always felt they would 'blame' us....but they didn't. I had a Dad, I don't know who his son or daughter was, but he put his hand on my shoulder and said 'Good Job Son' and it took everything in my power to not break down infront of my crew right there, I couldn't, you just couldn't. For survival you couldn't show an ounce of 'perceived' weakness.

 

I don't feel at all sick for the feeling I felt inside when one of those fucks blew themselves up. Sometimes, you could tell the exact moment they KNEW they fucked up. They would try to scurry away from the side of the road, hole, culvert...wherever they were digging/planting/running det wire, etc. just SECONDS before it detonated sending them to Kingdom Come. Even during some of our engagements. About 2 seconds before we would give the 'splash' signal over the air, they would hear it....they would all hear it coming and try and scurry away, but most of the time it was too late.....sometimes they made it out of the initial blast, we called them 'squirters' then we would furiously be reading 10 point grid references to the Kaiwa's or Apaches to come in and finish em off with a strafing run of 30 mike muthafuckin mike cannons.

 

I haven't thought about any of this for over 10 years....it's wild what a simple news story can jog loose...which is why I don't normally drink to 'get drunk' like I am right now, this shit floods back, man....and it's fucking wild. No drug can give you this feeling, I can assure you that.

 

By the time I come to my senses, I will probably regret ever typing any of this. Judge me all you want, but unless you are/were in my boots, you would never understand. I might delete this by tomorrow morning.

 

I never kept a journal of my time overseas and really wish I had....I know there are about 15-20 super 'unique' experiences I have stored away in there and wish I had all the information and details....All I have is the feeling I had when it was all happening, everything else is mostly a blur. When you don't get a day off until your HLTA days of the week and time don't really matter or even make sense for that matter. You are thousands of miles from home and what makes sense in the world.

 

If any of you made it to the end of this. Thank you.

 

Sorry that you had to go through all that, and hoping you'll one day find solace outside the bottle.

 

It's never too late to start a journal - even though it's not "fresh from right in front of you", at least the hope is that it'll eventually help you work through some of the more difficult bits.

 

Good luck, and take care.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

Sorry that you had to go through all that, and hoping you'll one day find solace outside the bottle.

 

It's never too late to start a journal - even though it's not "fresh from right in front of you", at least the hope is that it'll eventually help you work through some of the more difficult bits.

 

Good luck, and take care.

 

I'm all good, man.

I have put in years of work on myself. I am very self aware of my capabilities now....I'm even a productive member of society! You would never know...I don't look like Tom Cruise from Born on the 4th of July, although sometimes you feel like that.

 

I actually rarely drink, I had an alcoholic father and at a young age realized what booze did to him. I do feel overall 'happier' and 'at peace' when I am drunk....it's just the memories come flooding in and I can't help it. I'm not saying at all that they are unwanted, they just show up!

 

I think I might! sometimes things just come back...I'll never specifically remember dates except December 30th, 2009 and January 1st, 2010. December 30th was when an IED killed that Calgary reported and 4 other soldiers just south of the DAND District centre which was mere kilometers outside of our zone. It was a heavy day and why close air wasn't requested for that road move is a question only the boys in that zone can answer. 

 

I can't even remember the date of when a US JTAC was killed in action....he died while talking to us on the radio while we were scrambling close air for him and his crew. You just think, is this real life? This is the shit you see in movies, but it's actually happening!

 

Our callsign was 'Slayer TOC (Tactical Operations Centre)' and we used the punisher skull for our emblem. All of the Canadian JTACS who were in the field (generally artillery guys) would also be Slayer, but with a number designation like 'Slayer 8'

 

Fuck I am on a ramble now boyssssssssssssssssssss

Edited November 23, 2023 by Guest